In our society there are two extremes in attitude toward family. Some seem totally unconcerned about family, apparently feeling no responsibility to parents, children or siblings. With good reason, Christians look with horror on such neglect. But there is another extreme that can also be wrong. Family may become the center of our existence, the source of our pride, the object of our affection, the final authority in our lives, and the relationship to be preserved at all cost. And we may feel super-righteous in this because, after all, the Bible teaches us to love and care for our families. By His teaching and example, however, Jesus provides the proper balance.
Jesus’ Care for His Family
Jesus was the perfect son. As a teenager, He was in subjection to His parents (Luke 2:51). It seems likely that Joseph died while Jesus was still young and that He supported the family as a carpenter until His siblings were of age (Mark 6:3). He brought honor to His mother with His first miracle, and among His last concerns on the cross was the care of His Mother (John 19:26-27).
Jesus condemned the Pharisees who avoided caring for their parents by saying, “whatever I have that would help you has been given to God” (Mt. 15:5). He encouraged mothers who brought their children to him, and through Paul He said, “If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (I Tim. 5:8).
Limits on Devotion to Family
At the same time Jesus fully expected to divide families. He Himself said, “I came to set a man against his father and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me” (Mt. 10:34-37). When some accept Him and some reject Him, family ties are often weakened and sometime completely severed. But Jesus gave no room for compromise in order to preserve family unity.
On one occasion Jesus said to a man, “Follow Me.” But the man replied, “Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father.” Modern ears are shocked by the reply of Jesus: “Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:59-60). The man probably intended to care for his father until he died and then follow Jesus, but Jesus had no sympathy with his request. “Another said, ‘I will follow you, Lord; but first permit me to say good-bye to those at home.’” Jesus rejected even this request, reasonable as it seems to us. He clearly considered kingdom business so important that family should never be allowed to interfere.
This is what Jesus practiced. On one occasion “His mother and His brothers arrived, and standing outside they sent word to Him and called Him. A crowd was sitting around Him, and they said to Him, ‘Behold Your Mother and Your brothers are outside looking for you’” (Mark 3:31-32). Now, “WWJD”—what would Jesus do? Surely He would go out to them. Our Catholic friends pray to Mary, believing that Jesus would never refuse her any request. Well, what did He do? “Answering them, He said, ‘Who are my mother and My brothers? Looking around Him, He said, ‘Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother.” Why did Jesus react this way? He knew that they had come to “take custody of Him; for they said, ‘He has lost His senses’” (verse 21). Jesus would not let even His mother interfere with His work. In fact, He counted those who expedited his work more His family than His own flesh and blood who were coming to hinder it.
Application
We often point out this teaching of Jesus to those who are allowing family to hinder their obedience to the gospel. This is appropriate.
This teaching, however, also applies to those who have been baptized. Family responsibilities must be met–parents must be cared for and children must be fed and educated–but when those basic needs have been supplied, we must not let family interfere with our responsibility to Jesus. Many men have been hindered from preaching the gospel because parents or wives objected. Some who preach have chosen their field of labor primarily on the basis of nearness to parents or grandparents rather than on the basis of need. If Lois and Eunice had successfully prevented Timothy from going with Paul, the kingdom would have lost an effective servant. When a mere emotional attachment to parents or grandparents prevents us from going where He would have us go, would He not say to us, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62)?
~ by Sewell Hall