Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God; for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus.
(I Thessalonians 4:1-2)
Building meaningful relationships is certainly an area that I must begin to “abound more and more” in. I’m ashamed to admit this, but I still do not know every member, much less even have a clue about what 60% of the congregation does for a living. If you are in the same boat we have our work cut out for us. But it is hoped by the end of this article we will have ways to improve our relationships with one another.
Do I REALLY need to know all the members?
I would suggest–emphatically–YES! Do you know all of your biological brothers and sisters? I would assume 99 percent of you would say yes. But do you know all of your brothers and sisters at Embry Hills? I would guess the percentage drops at least 60 or 70 points.
My point is this: How can we fulfill the command of I Corinthians 12:26 if we do not know all of our brothers and sisters? “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” (I Corinthians 12:26) Too many times, I hear an announcement and I have to ask, “Who is that again?” How can I truly rejoice or suffer with my brother or sister if I constantly have to ask who is that?
You might be thinking, that’s just you. I know every member’s name, where they sit and what they look like. Excellent work! But remember our end goal is to “abound more and more” by building broader relationships with other members. Knowing everyone’s name and face isn’t the end all be all, although it may be an intermediate goal for some. But our ultimate goal is to know each member’s spiritual and physical needs in order than we might be able to supply what is lacking.
Paul wrote this about the Thessalonians, “For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God, as we pray most earnestly night and day that we may see you face to face and supply what is lacking in your faith?” (I Thessalonians 3:9-10)
I understand that it will be difficult ,maybe even seemingly impossible, for us to achieve this for every single member. But we must make every effort possible to know as much about others members as we can.
How can I build these broader relationships?
“Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” (Romans 12:13) In this verse, the needs being addressed are the physical needs of the saints. Paul recognized that sometimes saints need help and it is our responsibility to help them. But I believe we can make a spiritual application as well. Whether our talent is teaching, encouraging, ministering, or just a good listener we should use it to help other saints be edified. And we can accomplish both of these goals by showing hospitality.
Interestingly enough, the word hospitality means “love of strangers”–Vines. Often, we invite our friends and those that we know over to our homes and we call that hospitality. But Jesus said, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you.” (Luke 14:12-14)
True hospitality is having someone you do not know (a stranger) into your home. Invite someone that you would rarely associate with at worship services. Invite someone that you know little about. Invite someone that you know needs a meal. Invite someone that needs some spiritual guidance. Invite someone that may feel like an outsider. Just invite people that have a need!
I’ve been taught that there is no greater place to learn about a person than at a dinner table. People are often more relaxed and less intimidated when everyone is participating in the same thing. We should use our dinner table as a place where strangers become our friends.
And if you are invited to someone’s house–go if at all possible! It is an opportunity for you to learn more about your brothers and sisters. Do not fear being a burden on the host or feeling out of place. You were invited because you were wanted. Don’t ever forget that!
IF we all do our part, we will be closer to one another than we ever imagined possible.
~by Wes Gossett